An Ocean Of Memories
I Was Hoping

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I Was Hoping

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As we were talking outside, it was cold
we were shivering, yet warmed by the subject matter
My wife is in the next room
we've been having troubles, you know
please don't tell her or anyone,
But I need to talk to somebody
You said Wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was five minutes before I died?
Id be filled with such regret before I took my last breath
and I said you're willing to tell me this now
And you're not going to die any time soon
And I said I haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything
And you said yes, but you've been wearing leather
and laughed and said we're at the top of the food chain
And, yes, you're a fine woman
and I cringed
I was hoping I was hoping we could heal each other
I was hoping I was hoping we could be raw together
We left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's) said
Good-bye, sir. Thank you for your business, sir.
You're successful and established, sir.
And we like the frequency with which you dine here, sir
And your money
and when I walked by they said thank you too, dear
I was All pigtails and cords
And there was a day when I would've said something like
Hey, dude, I could buy and sell this place, so kiss it
I too once thought I was owed something
I was hoping, I was hoping we could challenge each other
I was hoping, I was hoping we could crack each other up
I too thought that when proved wrong I lost somehow
I too once thought life was cruel
It's a cycle really
you think Im withdrawing and guilt tripping
you I think you're insensitive
And I don't feel heard and I said Do you believe we are fundamentally judgmental?
Fundamentally evil?
And you said Yes.
I said I don't believe in revenge, in right or wrong; good or bad
you said Well, what about that man that I saw handcuffed
in the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid
And she threw a shoe at his head.
I think what he did was wrong
and I would've had a hard time feeling compassion for him
I had to watch my tone, for fear of having you feel judged.
I was hoping, I was hoping we could dance together
I was hoping, I was hoping we could be creamy together

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