An Ocean Of Memories
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Do you go to the dungeon to find out how to make peace with your days?
In the dungeon writing a letter to you didn't make me feel any more peaceful than how I felt when we weren't speaking
Because I didn't cope to what I did.
I can't love you because we're supposed to have professional boundaries.
Id like you to be schooled and in awe as though you were kissed by God full on the lips.
Im in the front row the front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
Im too tired to recount the unpleasantries one by one
One minute I want to banish you
The next I want to be on a deserted island with you along with my three favorite CDs
Ambivalent, yet, in your bed we've yet to acknowledge what really happened
Slid into the ditch, I have this overwhelming loss of ambition
We said let's name thirty good reasons why we shouldn't be together
I started by saying things like, you smoke, you live in New Jersey (too far);
You started saying things like, you belong to the world
All of which could have been easily refuted
But the conversation was hypothetical
I am totally short of breath for you
Why can't you shut your stuff off...
Im in the front row the front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
And I laughed until my lungs hurt
I love how you bust my chops you don't always feel seen
Sometimes you feel erasable
Unfortunately, I cannot reciprocate in my current state
I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together
...For a while Im speaking
You know how much you hate to be interrupted
Maybe spend some time alone to fill up your proverbial cup
So that it doesn't always have to be about you
Ive been wanting your undivided attention
I like the fact that you're nothing like me
Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective
People have of your charmed life (seemingly)?
Im in the front row the front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
You never meant to be ungrateful
Nor held up to be whipped or wept for certainly
Not analyzed prodded at more ways than one
Apparently, you've been misrepresented
Dealing with the concept of arrows being
Slung towards your outrageous fortune
Hey, Im not mad at you guardian
Im mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your Jeckyl and Hydeness
Im glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist
You laughed a wicked laugh
And said come here let me clip your wings!
(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away
You don't owe him anything)
Raise the roof he yelled
Yeah, raise the roof! I yelled back.
(unfortunately you needed a health scare to reprioritize.)
No thanks to the soap box.
Having me rile against them won't make an ounce of difference...
Im in the front row the front row with popcorn.
I get to see you see you close up
Oh the things Ive done for you
Many a bitch, a friend, a man's been left for you
Oh the books Ive read for you
The tongues Ive bitten for you
Many a new city for you
Many a risk taken for you (not a single regret)

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie